Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Wild Ride

Whoa. That wasn't the week I had planned. Not even close.

The thing I'm learning, and rather quickly, about this whole parenting game, is that you just can't plan for it. At all. Big thanks go out to Hubs for giving you all little updates as the labor and delivery progressed. What it taught me, in a life-altering way, is to just step into the current, allow myself to be carried along, and be thankful to arrive at the destination, wherever it may take me.

I'd like to share with you what happened. It's a harrowing tale, full of unexpected twists, hairpin turns, and near collisions. Ultimately, it was a wild ride. Strap in folks, this one's a long tale.

To say that things didn't quite go according to my plans/ideas/expectations is the ultimate understatement. In fact, things went all very, very wrong, beginning last Thursday morning. I awoke around 12:45 a.m. with cramping in the side, exactly like what I'd felt 3 weeks ago when I ended up in the hospital. Within 15 minutes, it had gotten horrible. I could barely walk and I began to become physically, and violently, ill. We arrived at the hospital around 2 a.m.. My midwife, who met us there, said I actually wasn't in labor. She didn't know what was causing the pain, only that my preeclampsia was getting out of control, so they induced (my liver and kidneys were failing and my b/p was getting higher and higher so they also hooked me up to a magnesium sulfate IV to keep me from going into eclampsia and then having seizures, which I'd just began to experience as full body tremors).

I had the baby naturally a good bit later, at 10:20 p.m. (my epidural didn't totally take, which I'm glad for, because I felt all of the contractions, as well as the urge to push). I labored for 6 hours and pushed for 40 minutes. All seemed well and they transferred us to the "Mother and Baby" floor around 3 a.m. Suddenly, six hours after the delivery, I began to massively hemorrhage. About six nurses filled the room, pushing very, very, very hard on my already tender abdomen. To hemorrhage so late after a delivery is really, really rare.

The next morning the pain that I'd experienced Thursday that sent me to the hospital initially returned with a vengeance. At first we thought it was a kidney stone. It wasn't until Saturday evening, though, following an X-ray, a CT scan, and an ultrasound that we learned what was causing such horrific pain. It turned out I had a twisted ovary, known in medical parlance as an "ovarian torsion." This, apparently, is also exceedingly rare (the surgeon that ultimately took it out said I was only the 3rd one he'd seen at such a late stage of labor in his 20 years of medicine). The ovary had become necrotic, and had began causing me to bleed internally. Emergency surgery was performed, which saved my life, and the ovary and its fallopian tube removed. We left the hospital Sunday evening and I've been home recovering since.

Clearly, none of this was what I'd planned. Honestly though, I am so, so very glad for how it all worked out. Had I labored and delivered at home, the midwives would have been gone by the time that I hemorrhaged. Also, I might not have had my god-awful pain (the ovarian pain was way worse than labor) dealt with as expediently, professionally, and superbly as it was. The surgeon told me I dodged a bullet-twice. In the old days, I'd have been one of those ladies that didn't make it through labor. And so, I am so eternally grateful for the way it all manifested, what I learned in the process, and for the love muffin Hubs and I received in return.

Huxley Wild English is great, and, given the circumstances surrounding his arrival, muchly deserving of his middle name! The hospital staff and my midwives are absolute angels masquerading as humans. Things are beginning to balance out. My mother-in-law, another angel, is with us until next Wednesday, visiting from Florida. She's been truly wonderful!

It was certainly an epic ride. I'm absolutely loving being a mother. I even love the late-night feedings, multiple diaper changes, and intermittent sleep. I love calling Huxley "peanut sauce" (this one even has its own song!), "monkey", "pea pod", "chicken", "nugget" and more. I love staring at this tiny eyelashes, listening to his soft breath, and smelling his sweet smell. All's truly well that ends well. I'm utterly smitten.

I'll take pictures of Huxley soon and post them here once we get our whole nursing/sleeping/pooping thing down a bit more first. Thank you for your kind words of care and concern. The love surrounding my family is truly palpable, and infinitely appreciated.

Welcome to the world, wee one! You've got loads of folks with your best interests in mind!

*Image from here.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

swaddled bliss



Hi all, Ashley still can't make it to the computer herself, but she appreciates all the kind thoughts. She's been having a tough time because of complications caused by the preeclampsia, but the big risks seem to be behind her and the baby is doing great. Here are a couple pics, if I can make it work...

Friday, October 22, 2010

the bon vivant est arrivee!

Huxley Wild English made his debut appearance to the outerworld yesterday, 10/21/10 at 10:20pm. He's 18.5 inches long, and weighed in at 5 lbs, 14 ounces. He's already mastered the fine art of snuggling like a tree frog. Ashley thanks you all for the kind thoughts!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

nugget can't wait

Hello all, this is Ashley's husband, Glenn. Just a quick update... Last night Ashley had to be rushed to the hospital because of side-effects from the preeclampsia. We thought it might be labor at first, but that turned out not to be the case yet. Her blood pressure was dangerously elevated and her blood platelets were dangerously low, so they decided to induce this evening to be safe. Fortunately both her blood pressure and her blood platelets have improved, and the baby's signs are all great. Everything seems to be moving along smoothly and Huxley Wild English should be making his outerworldly debut sometime late tonight or tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Best Laid Schemes

I've been accused of being stubborn. Just ask my mother. Or my husband. I prefer "resolute", "impassioned" and "determined." Furthermore, I'm a perpetual, life-long planner. I like lists, I like to schedule things in advance, I like knowing what's coming.

Well, forget all that! Nugget is here to teach me the art of letting go. Turns out I have mild preeclampsia. My mother and maternal grandmother both had it, and mine has evidenced in the past week. In light of this development, the option of a home birth no longer exists. We're scheduled to be induced this coming Sunday evening, when I'll be at 39 weeks.

Fortunately, nothing but rhapsodic praise exists for the labor & delivery ward at Mission, my nearest hospital. It's so good, in fact, that my midwives claim it's the reason there are no alternative birthing facilities in Asheville to date. There's just no demand for one. They have a water birth area (lovingly dubbed "Waterworld") and, according to one of my midwives today, they just changed their standards in August to allow women to labor in water even if they've been given pharmacological inductions (they have wireless monitors to keep check on momma and baby without being rigged up continuously to a machine).

So, faced with the reality of no longer being able to birth at home, this planned, precise, "resolute" mom-to-be could have freaked out. Could have sobbed. Could have pouted and whined and protested and felt that it's just not fair. And I did feel some fear about the whole situation. But, after talking it out with Hubs, and my folks, and three trusted lady friends, that path seemed utterly pointless. Instead, I'm opting to embrace what my dear friend Jen wrote: "You are given the birth you are meant to have, for your growth." For me, that means a hospital birth.

My Pop assures me that this is simply preparation for parenthood, when "letting go" is the order of the day. Fortunately, Hubs is an absolute ninja in all things related to letting go. He's been practicing non-attachment, specifically as it applies to outcomes, for decades. He's quite good for me that way. And, I have to say, given all that's transpired over the past few days, I've surprised myself at just how willing to let go of my hopes, plans, schemes, and attachments I've been. The prospect of the incredible gift we'll receive in the final analysis makes it all worth while. In this case, the end truly justifies the means.

I've packed a bag for the hospital. A kind soul, a new friend with a heart of gold, is primed and ready to take care of our furry friends chez English when the time comes. We're employing several means of inducing ourselves, to see if we can't get the party started without intervention. Otherwise, Hubs is making "Mushroom Mac' N Cheese" (with a hint of truffle oil-ooh wee!!!) and collard greens for dinner, I plan to watch "The Fabulous Beekman Boys" on Planet Green at 9:30, the chickens will go to bed at 7, the dogs will be fed shortly thereafter, and all is just as it's meant to be.

Steinbeck sure knew what he was talking about (by way of Robert Burns). The best laid schemes of mice and men do often go awry. Time to do away with scheming and planning and all that. Time to step into the river and be moved by the current.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Saturday Night Special



What I'm digging this crisp autumn evening...

The Swedish sisters of
First Aid Kit are breathtakingly talented and the dudes of Fleet Foxes never fail to satisfy...

Friday, October 15, 2010

Tea Staining

(Pre- tea staining)
(Post- tea staining)

Happy Friday, everyone! My "Small Measures with Ashley" post is up over at Design Sponge. Today's topic discusses using black tea to stain fabrics. It's super easy, completely affordable, and produces gorgeous results. Fire up the kettle!

We're continuing to lay low and take it super easy, chez English. There are absolutely no weekend plans scheduled, which is perfectly fine by me! It's hard to believe that I'm now a mere 2 1/2 weeks from my due date. Time stops for no one!

Have a lovely weekend, wherever it may take you!